Guest Post :: My Cup

This is written by my good friend since college, Kim.  She and I have some wacky stories to tell and she is to this day the silliest person (other than myself) I have ever met.  An innocent, loving silliness that marks her in my heart forever.  These are her words and her pictures.  Please welcome her with love and sweet comments so she'll come back again.

"To sum it up, in my opinion, living decorated is living a loving life.   Spreading the love.   To spread the love, you must first be filled with love.   Sometimes I am, sometimes I am not.

The three main earthly sources of love for me throughout my life, my Grandmother Bawmy, my Mom and my Grandmother Mimi, all passed away recently, within a 15 month timeframe.   Life completely changed as I knew it, leaving me feeling sad, alone, empty and scared of how I would be able to be the Mother I so desperately want to be to my three beautiful daughters, who decorate my life with everything that matters most.

My relationships with my Mom and Grandmothers were a large part of my identity and how I defined myself.   They were who I knew I could count on to be there for every major life event: birthdays, recitals, graduations, surgeries, wedding, the birth of my children, children’s baptisms…..They made everything more special. Where would I be without their love?

Psalm 23:5 

'Thou hast anointed my head with oil; 

My cup runneth over'

My tank was low….my cup stopped running over and dried up. Where would I get my encouragement, love and advice from?  Who was going to fill me with love so that I could then go fill my precious and deserving children with love?   Who would care about every detail, big and small, of my children’s days and milestones?   Who would I have to share these joys in life with? No one cared about my girls or me like these three women in my life, who are now gone.

Overwhelmed with sadness, it hit me.   No one, except God.   The true everlasting Source of love, encouragement, healing and care.   What a painful, but true lesson…necessary to move on positively, strongly, lovingly, in Truth and Light.   Through God, I could remain spiritually connected to three of the most important people in my life, giving appreciation to God and to them, for their love, support and life changing blessings.   God is always there with an outreached hand, we just have to remember to look up, see it and accept it.  

Remembering and refocusing on being grateful to God for His everlasting and unconditional love and support as my true Source, my cup begins to fill again.  If I turn primarily to Him for my identity and the love I need, my cup will again runneth over, regardless of circumstance.   Which then allows me to be more of that Mommy that I have always wanted to be……loving, encouraging, supportive, compassionate, patient, fun, understanding, dependable, confident, wise…..all qualities that were cumulatively shared with me by my Mom and Grandmothers. The circle of life lives on.   Love does not die.  I love you Mom, I love you Bawmy, I love you Mimi, and I love you God!!! Thank you for decorating my heart and soul!

Isaiah 61:3 

'and provide for those who grieve in Zion--to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.'"

Kim